A Mommy's Frustration

The past week or so my 19 month old daughter, Anya, has been driving me crazy.  I have to vent about this so please bare with me. Anya usually takes an afternoon nap at around noon time.  Lately her naps are non-existant.  When I put her down she just plays in the crib. Ok, so you're saying "What's the big deal?  She's not screaming, you can still get things done".  This is not true.  I live in an apartment so she hears everything. I open a bag of chips, she hears it.  I open the guest bedroom door, she hears it.  I clean my paintbrush, she hears it.  So, while she is playing in bed, I sit here on the computer twiddling my thumbs praying she will finally fall asleep so I can go on and paint or clean up around the apt. or even take a shower.  Not only is she not taking a nap. She is becoming very whiny. She whines about the smallest thing and it drives me up the wall.  I try to play with her, she whines. I sit down, she whines.  I don't know if she's cutting her second molars or she's going through her terrible two's stage early.  All I know is I'm going on borderline insanity here. 

I think this is partially due to the fact I have been stuck in the house for a week or so with nothing to do and no one to see.  I take Anya to the library every week, but that's still not good enough.  I think I need time to myself.  This is almost impossible since we have no money for drop-in daycare and no family here to help out.  We just moved up north to follow my husband's job.  I would have my husband watch her on the weekends while I go do something but what would I do?  I wouldn't know what to do with myself! I can't go to the store, I have no money.  I can't go anywhere with anyone because I have no friends up here yet. I joined a mommy's group in hopes of making friends who also have kids around the same age.  I met a nice woman with a son Anya's age but our schedules haven't really lined up together yet. 

Yesterday I had a breakdown while Anya was "down for a nap".  I'm about to have another one since this is the third day in a row Anya hasn't had a nap.  Maybe I'm depressed?  I don't know.

Mental breakdown in 3...2.......